Forgiveness

So I will be the first to admit, forgiveness is hard.  Especially when you feel so strongly as though you didn't do anything wrong.  But "look deeper" is what I hear the Lord telling me. Did I really do nothing wrong? My intentions may have been to help the situation but was I really helping the situation by getting involved in the first place?  Even thought the other person may have shoved me into the situation by talking about me behind my back?  The only reason I even found out is because I was told by someone else.  So I know now that I should have just let it roll off my back.  The Lord said we would face all kinds of various trials and we shouldn't be surprised by it.  So to get emotional and try to get my word in is only sinning.  I read a great article today by John Piper. “Forgive Us Our Debts as We Forgive Our Debtors” The Lord really convicted me.  I know that I need to be the peacemaker.  I know that without one shadow of a doubt.  It's so hard.  Life period is so hard.  I want nothing more than to represent the Lord the way he deserves to be represented. I pray that the Lord will help me with my unforgiveness towards the person in question.  I pray that I can get over the fact that I feel right and didn't do anything wrong. I pray that the Lord with help me to keep my mouth shut.  It hurts to be wronged.  Especially by people who claim to really love you.  But in the end we cannot change people.  Only the Lord can.  I can't make people be fair to me or treat me right.  The Lord is the only person who can cause people to be loving, kind and honest.  I can't do that.  I can only be a witness for Christ.  I can only reflect Christ so much that the people I am around with wonder what's up and seek God for an answer.  I need to continue to die to myself every single day, hour, minute and second.  And I need to do this with such a grateful heart because God DIED for me.  He straight up died for me!!!  This person who can't even forgive others without complaining!  Jesus didn't complain.  He didn't cry and whine and stomp His feet. He took death on for me.  But not just for me, for every single human being if we just get over ourselves and believe in Him.  I have such a long way to go but I pray that the Lord will never give up on me.